Willingly I accept. The theme is interesting, I will take part in discussion. I know, that together we can come to a right answer.
Too basic. Too vague. Too cool. Too conceited. Too bitter. Too pretentious. Too… much.
Show more comments. Lifestyle all Most Read Most Recent. Enjoy the adventures of Andy Capp and wife Flo every day. The strip originally ran from to Due to public demand, reprints of classic stories began in Perishers Perishers - 17th September Perishers originally ran from to The strip is still so popular today that we decided to reprint the best of the strips by Maurice Dodd and Dennis Collins.
Home Office Artificial intelligence could be used to catch paedophiles prowling on the web The Government has pledged to spend more money on the Child Abuse Image Database. Top Stories. Sharks Outrage as rare shark is paraded through crowded UK street before it's cooked and eaten. I agree with the writer but some of them are stupid, and many of these apply to dudes, FYI.
So, a black person can't have any preference for dating another black person? Permit me to do an impromptu informal survey How many of you have actually tried online dating, and how successful were you? I something professional guy had three awful experiences and swore off online dating. The vast majority of the women I managed to get a date with fell into one of these three categoies: i Women who misrepresented themselves in their profiles or e-mails.
The most common offender was the use of misleading photos my favorite being one woman who was 50lb heavier than her pic suggestedbut I had a few lie about their employment, and one about her marital status. Most commonly, these women just sat silently and could not carry a conversation, even for 10 minutes. A few were socially inappropriate very awkward body movements or mannerisms, failures to follow basic social customs, etc.
Some would do this after making me agree to dates at highly irregular times Sunday morning breakfast at am was my personal favorite to "accommodate" their schedules. And before I get dumped on A few disclaimers. It's not the attraction to taller men that's strange, it's the explicit 6' requirement. Unless you were raised by carnies, there's little chance that you can guess someone's height to that precision. My guess is that it's a status proxy. Also online dating demolishes the accusation that men are more 'shallow' than women when choosing mates.
Where men may have one or two criteria that could be regarded as shallow, women have dozens. Their entire assessment of men is shallow. It has almost nothing to do with a man as a person and everything to do with their actual or reflected status.
The most amusing profiles are the ones where some women goes on and on about how she wants a sincere, deep, and meaningful romance - but then lists out a set of requirements that are entirely superficial. So post a link to your profile so we can see a good one?
I don't think my girlfriend would be too happy about that. I online date searching for women and see this book mentioned all the time. Seriously, women should just find a random book and read it just to stand out! How about the line about having kissed a lot of frogs, hoping for a prince? Why this is supposed to be an attractive concept is beyond me.
These are the general categories most online dating cliches fall into and, There are many banal obvious-isms populating dating sites, but few.
But cheer up, all - this online stuff works, after a fashion. I've met some nice girls, plenty smart and presentable. Totally out of their minds, but nice girls nevertheless. Apparently that makes me a bit highbrow for the average guy on these sites. I should have put that under John, So, a black person can't have any preference for dating another black person? They CAN, obviously, but do I think it's a form of racism?
I'd equate it with a rich kid saying he only wants to date women who have a trust fund. Look, being naturally inclined towards people with a similar background to yours might be a human impulse, but specifically ruling out people who don't seems to indicate a prejudice. In other words, I don't think a black person who has only dated black people -- probably because their social circle is fairly segregated, as are a lot of people's -- is prejudiced.
But I think that a black person who would say on their online profile that they would never date a non-black person is. You disagree? No, I wouldn't! Incidentally, I'm not referring to simple preferences. I know a couple white men who are particularly attracted to asian women. Do I find it a little unnerving? I'll admit that I do. But if I think about it logically I'll usually come to the conclusion that it's not much different from preferring blondes, curvy women, boys with glasses, or whatever.
The problem I have is when you completely rule out everyone who doesn't fit that mold. That seems bigoted. OK, now that you've clarified it, I completely agree with you.
Yes, a black person who has a flat rule of only dating other blacks is racist. But, as you said, if they're just general, flexible preferences that are admittedly superficial, like preferring blondes, I don't see the problem. Indeed, preferring blondes is a racial preference, since anyone who prefers blondes also necessarily prefers whites. Ditto for preferring black hair or short people or tall people -- all these characteristics correlate to race.
I don't like seeing the term racism being defined down. Preferences for and prejudices toward racial characteristics can be more or less ugly, but I think the word "racism" should denote a belief that members of certain identifiable racial groups are clearly inferior to members of other racial groups and therefore do not deserve equal human rights. Racism is an ideological belief and a racist is a true believer in that ideology.
Well, it's so malleable that I sometimes wonder if it even matters what the criteria are for tarring something as "racist. If I had to define it, I wouldn't say that only an "ideology" can be racist. But for the purposes of this discussion, I don't think that's what really matters.
What matters is: Is there anything wrong with having an absolute rule against dating people of a certain race?
When I say it's "racist," I really just mean, "There's something wrong with it.
Dating site cliches
Oh, horsefeathers. For doubtless fascinating psychological readings, my libido happens to be hardwired to prefer extremely pale people. Extremely pale. If I specify that preference, am I being racist against white-but-not-really people tooor am I just not wasting the damn time of everyone I'm incapable of being sexually attracted to by pretending otherwise?
And even if we were to admit that that's racist and presumably sizeism and agism don't matterpresumably we must also admit that expressing a preference to date only women if you happen to be attracted to women is for the same reason sexism, period. And then there's sexual orientation Well I got to a certain age, where most or all of the men were divorced. And you quickly figure out why.
Fall in love and get married when you're young. It doesn't get any easier. Don't put it off. My bro met his wife from the newspaper personal ads. Pre-internet, pre-photo. She placed a short ad. She had him at "like classical music and football. Hey, it's a strategy. We're teaching her daughter that now. Cerebrate, Equating only being attracted to "extremely pale white people" with only being attracted to women seems like a bit of a stretch.
The former is, in my opinion, one of two things: racial bias or extreme fetishism. The latter is an unavoidable part of your physiology. As far as admitting it, I agree that if you have such a bias, it would be better to let potential partners know in advance. But I'm not going to tell you that I think that narrowing your range of potential partners based on such a specific and shallow precondition is something I would deem as non-prejudiced.
As far as "sizeism" goes, it's pretty well-documented that a lot of people do in fact have a problem with it, so I'm not sure why you're assuming it doesn't matter. Wanting to date someone who's healthy and active makes sense to me, specifying a waist to hip ratio or an exact weight is creepy and, yes, probably equatable to specifying a race.
I've already explained how I feel about "ageism".
"I love to travel" - the most common phrase you'll spot on an online dating website , followed closely by "I'm laid back" and of course "love to. Disclaimer: I specify that these are cliches for "women" to avoid only You don't need to make excuses for why you're on a dating site. 'Harry Potter' (This is a hook-up site and that is a children's book). "Working out" (/lying?) "Kind of done with the dating scene". People.
I've always hated that term when it is applied to stuff like this. It's totally unrelated to issues like size and race. There are plenty of things that change about people when they become older and there is no reason why someone shouldn't rule out partners who are the age of their parents, or vice-versa.
Even if you're talking about someone older who wants to date someone much younger, I can see the reasoning and impulse behind that much clearer than I can see a non-discriminatory basis for ruling out a specific race. To elaborate on why ageism is different to me: When you say you would "never" want to date someone outside of a certain race or size, or heightI believe one of two things or both is going on.
Either you genuinely can't imagine yourself ever being sexually or romantically attracted to someone outside of your ideal. IMO, this kind of fetishism belies subconscious prejudice. But let's say you're my age 26 and you say you don't want to date someone over One of those same things could be your motivation, in which case, yeah, you're prejudiced against old people.
But your motivation could be any number of other things. Maybe you're a man and you want to have children with your partner. Perhaps you would feel outmatched in life experience and that is too much of an interpersonal difference no, I don't think that different races will inherently or even often have the same level of interpersonal differences that people 25 years apart in age do to overcome.
Or you don't want your partner to likely die 30 years before you do. Or you're afraid with valid reason that your partner will be less able to 'perform' sexually than you are, especially as more time passes.
I'm not saying I think people should have an age requirement. I have what I'd call an age preference, but if an incredibly attractive, interesting, and kind man outside of my "standard age range" had come along when I was single, I would have given it a shot.
But I just think there are reasons people who wouldn't consider it have that don't fall under any kind of prejudice. It's truly remarkable how many of these comments are about which preferences and attitudes are acceptable and which ones aren't. No wonder people don't feel safe to reveal anything true or real about themselves in their profiles -- except, of course, the ones who really are nothing but mindless, politically correct conformists Yet more proof that political correctness is a relentless destroyer of everything that is genuinely human -- starting with honesty and freedom.
We know a couple who work for Lockheed-Martin, both engineers. Or something. One would think I would be deluged with responses to my ads but no. I think short guys want to date taller women to prove they can do it.
If you hadn't noticed, dating apps have been around long enough that there are actual dating app cliches now. My least favorite dating app. Post-Christmas to the Wednesday after Valentine's Day is the peak season for dating websites, according to Plenty of Fish's Sarah Gooding. I love laughing = I'm human. 2. I like to stay in with a glass of wine and a DVD = I do things that humans do. 3. I'm a bit crazy = This one time.
I wouldn't rule out tall guys per se, but Great blog post! As a 43 y o woman, married, I cracked up reading this. I have read those stupid postings with girlfriends and yes, they are as cliched as they seem. I think most people just aren't honest enough to tell the truth about who they are and what they want, mostly out of fear that others will judge them harshly. Truly a shame. Crap, ignore the second half of that last comment of mine, or mentally rewrite it with justified ageism in the relevant spot.
FYI, you're free to edit the comment yourself. All you have to do is copy and paste the part you like into a new comment, post the comment, then delete the old comment. Equating only being attracted to "extremely pale white people" I phrased that the way I did for a reason. While white people are more or less implied by the normal ranges of human skin tones, albinos of all races and ethnys could have also applied. Hey, if we're going to go down this road, then I must point out that researchers from Kinsey onwards have pointed out that very few people indeed are pure obligate heterosexuals or pure obligate homosexuals the 'extreme fetishists' of this scenario.
Or, rather, not for the team. As for your reasons for why an age preference is different I can think of reasons for why my preference isn't a prejudice, therefore it's fine. But I can't - because a I'm not them and b my imagination won't stretch to it - think of reasons why their preference isn't a prejudice, and I am predisposed to think of it as one. Therefore it can't be anything else.
This is, of course, itself a prejudice. Missed the deletion button the first few times around, somehow.
My comment about age concerns widening your age range and saying that you're open to dating someone 15 or 20 years older or younger, not limiting your range. If you say that you'll date someone of a specific race, so what?
Are we to the point of enacting some anti-discrimination measures for social interaction now too? Freedom of association's such a quaint old-fashioned notion, isn't it? Look, I'm not evoking the law here. I'm not suggesting that people who state a racial preference be burned at the stake. I'm simply saying that I don't see how someone can claim that they don't have a racial bias yes, I am defining 'racism' as having a bias against certain races -- whether you agree with that definition or not is really just semantics and not worth a separate argument and then exclude all races but their own or any specific race from their pool of potential partners.
As I've already stated, having a preference that you are drawn to naturally doesn't bother me, making a rule out of it -- "I would never, ever date a black person" -- is racist. I'm not trying to take away your freedoms, I'm just having an opinion about them.
These are the general categories most online dating cliches fall into and There are many banal obvious-isms populating dating sites, but few. I guess certain dating cliches have a shelf life before they are simply no of these online dating sites wouldn't have millions of success stories. Online dating profile cliches to avoid – and how to write an original profile When someone's taken the time out to make their page even just a little bit original.
I've dated plenty of people from races other than my own and none of them had "completely different" cultures or "life values.
You do realize that many people of different races are born in the USA and that schools are no longer segregated, right? You seem to be equating race directly with class or religion, which is, well, racist. Sorry, but it seems contradictory for you to state that people of different races have completely different values than your own and then take me to task for using the term racism. No, we're not. That's not what we're discussing. I'm talking about whether or not having a rule that you will only date within your race indicates a prejudice against other races.
I believe it does. Do you actually disagree, or are you just saying that having a prejudice against certain races is okay? Those are two separate arguments. Since someone implied that my opinion is an assault on "honesty": more than half of my serious relationships including my current one have been with hispanic men because I usually find them particularly attractive.
I don't have any guilt about that, but I would also never consider stating a racial requirement on an online dating profile. Most people have a "type. Doesn't anyone see the difference between a guy who is generally attracted to blonde women, and a guy who would never, ever date a brunette no matter how otherwise attractive or interesting they were?
The former is a pretty normal, generic dude; while the latter seems like an oddity with a real prejudice. Shouldn't the same standard apply to having steadfast rules about race? While I'm thinking about it In addition to not wasting the time of interesting people of your undesired races, you will also be warning people of your own race or 'chosen' race who would prefer not to date someone with such a strong bias.
I equate a woman who says she won't date a man who is shorter than her with a woman who says she won't date a guy of a certain race or races or age.
None of those choices makes sense to me, but they are her choices to make. The discriminating characteristic cannot be changed, a mature man can't grow taller, get younger or change his skin color. I don't think that the woman should be lauded for her choice, but it is her choice to make. If you share common interests and enjoy each other's company, then it shouldn't matter what color your skin is, what your ages are or who's taller.
Hey- cliche's are boring- but I really don't want to put my autobiography on the web. Frankly if you put anything really funny or edgy on your profile it would probably be misunderstood as "mean". My current GF was online- her profile was a long list of all the sad commons that guys make- it was hilarious. I thought she would tear me one when I contacted her- but 4 months in- things are good.
Of course I'm 6'2"- so maybe she's just dating me for the height. As someone who met a woman over the Internet, married, and divorced, many many thoughts come to mind.
I disagree completely with all these comments about it being racist or otherwise prejudiced to specify physical attributes of the person you're looking for. I never specified a race that I was looking for and I don't think I'd care. But then, in fact I've never dated someone of a different race -- whether because things just never came together or because she wasn't interested in me. I've occassionally wondered: If I did, would I find that in fact there are important cultural differences that would present a problem?
I think I'd have more in common with, for example, a black girl who grew up in a suburb like me and who has a technical job like me, than I would with a fellow white girl who grew up in a remote rural town and who works in a coal.
Surely there's a big difference between saying, "I want to marry someone who is like myself in this and this and this way because I think that's necessary for us to truly share our lives together," and saying "I hate everyone different from me and think they should all be killed.
When you say it's okay to "prefer" a person of a certain race or height or hair color or whatever, but to make it an absolute rule is prejudice In real racism, if I said "I think all Ruritanians are stupid and lazy" that would surely be racist. If instead I said, "I think most Ruritanians are stupid and lazy, but I suppose there might be a few exceptions", would that really be better?
Like, I'd prefer a woman younger than myself. Would I absolutely rule out an older woman? Of course not. But what could I write in a personal ad?Dating Cliches
Once you say you have a preference, anyone reading it knows that if they don't meet that preference, either you're making allowances, or some other trait outweighed it. I would think almost any preference someone stated in a personal ad would, in real life, be "negotiable" if the other person was highly desirable to them for some other reason.
Nine online dating cliches you MUST avoid - and how to write the perfect profile
Hey, I'll laugh at cliches, too. But in fairness, how creative do you expect someone to be? It's all well and good to make fun of someone for being the ten millionth woman to say "I like romantic evenings. There's a point at which any more creative would simply make it unclear what you're asking for.
Oops, in my earlier post, when I said "fellow white girl", I meant, "a girl who is also white like myself", not that I am a girl looking for another girl. Of course you love to laugh! Everyone loves to laugh. What is normal anyway? Newsflash: There is no normal! And who wants to be normal, anyway? I shudder to think about how many times this acronym is typed every single day.
You see this on sites in which you have to pay a premium fee in order to see the likes. This is a great thing to say if you want to come off as high-handed or intolerant of large swaths of people. Remember: Your profile is a place to project who you are and let people know about you, not to issue edicts! Oh, really? Replace it with a more remarkable fact about yourself that would tell potential mates who you are. I get it. Yes, this is intended to convey that you have an appreciation for both high and low culture.
If you truly have a passion for ballet and high arts, simply say so! Is that really the image you want to project into the world? If Fyodor Dostoevsky was on Tinder, he would have immediately swiped left upon seeing the anything like this. After all, you may find that your years are appealing to a new cohort of people.