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How to avoid the common mistakes and dating delusions many guys make by projecting their dating fantasy onto someone, while ignoring the reality they are uninterested or unavailable. In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a guy who has gotten so wrapped up in his dating fantasy about a girl he briefly met in university who has a boyfriend, that he has completely deluded himself into seeing a potential relationship that has no chance of happening. He only had coffee with her once, and then she went back to her home country. He has stayed in touch since she moved back, and he eventually vomited his inappropriate feelings all over her in hopes she would blow off her boyfriend, so they could live happily ever after. My comments are in bold parenthesis like this below in the body of his email.
Although, before she left, we went for coffee once, and we have been corresponding via email ever since, until last Christmas when I sent her Christmas messages and a gift. Gifts are for girlfriends or your wife, not chicks you want to date or hope to date. The gift comes across as a bribe for sex and a relationship. I also sent her an email, but she did not reply to those messages. That should tell you something.
So, I decided not to call her, and she did not try to call nor message me during this period. Three months later, I sent her a message that we need to talk. That should tell you everything you need to know.
In other words, dating is like a game of tennis. You hit the ball over the net, then you wait for the other person to hit it back. They know these things. She could tell you were getting attached, and she was hoping you would get the message and just go away.
Plus, it takes you out of the game. It prevents you from being open and meeting people that are always circulating around you. Before you even have a relationship, you want to go out on a date and have fun, you want to hook up and then let the woman bring up the relationship.
Please, I ask of you to put the situation into perspective.
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We only went out for coffee once, and have been having some correspondence by mail, but nothing which explains why you should feel that we have every been that close or that may justify why you should feel as you do for me, as you cannot rationally care so much and so intimately for a person you barely know.
We have only been acquaintances, and this situation has not made me want to pursue it any further. Or if you continue to persist, then they get a restraining order against you.
I want to be kind to you, but you must also know how to act towards other people, and this has felt more like an intrusion than respectful behavior, which has caused strain on my relationship with my boyfriend.
Keep in mind, these movies are usually written by the geeks that sat in the back of the class and never got laid when they were in high school. They have this fantasy, they saw it in another movie, they become screenwriters, and they perpetuate the same bullshit.
In other words, my boyfriend is my rock, my mountain. I have a happy relationship, he is my man, so leave me the fuck alone, basically. She even told you she had a boyfriend, but it kind of went right over your fucking head. But I am not going to carry you out of it by engaging in a relationship with you, which I would not be able to do honestly, as I would not like to continue this relation due to the circumstances.
I have a boyfriend, this is totally disgusting behavior, and you need to cut it the fuck out. You were wrong. This is not appropriate behavior.
Apr 23, - 10/ He knows what he's talking about. I've read his first book to the point I've lost count. Helped me get my confidence back and most.
Come on man, seriously. You want to date and have a relationship with her. Let it go.
Practice the things I teach in my book. Make sure the women you date reciprocate interest. Done that. Got the t-shirt.
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Dec 31, - Some online dating and seduction secrets you can use to effortlessly, successfully turn your online dating prospects into lovers and girlfriends. Jun 28, - How to avoid the dating delusions many guys make by projecting their dating fantasy onto someone while ignoring the reality they are. Jun 30, - In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss a terrible train wreck of dating texting between a male viewer who shares what he texted.
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